


Unexpected

by tvshipsetc



Category: New Amsterdam (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:54:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29887638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvshipsetc/pseuds/tvshipsetc
Summary: Max finally tells Helen how he feels.
Relationships: Max Goodwin & Helen Sharpe, Max Goodwin/Helen Sharpe
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in fifteen minutes. Don’t judge me too harshly 😆 (And yes, I’m working on Chatper 10 of IWIWY ☺️)

He barged into her office feeling a little unsure of himself, unsure of his feelings, unsure of what he’d actually say. He looked up at her while she was on the phone, smiling and conversing as though she didn’t know he was in the room. She stopped fighting for him to respect her boundaries and actually knock a long time ago.

She ended the call and didn’t even bother to pay attention to him, as she busied herself skimming through files on her desk.

“I’m ready to talk about it,” he said, as if that sentence was supposed to mean something to her.

She chuckled in confusion, still not giving him the attention he expected. 

“Whatever it is, just say it. I have a lot going on today anyway.”

He was taken aback by how dismissive she was while he was going through mental and emotional hell to try to figure out how to choose his words.

Silence fell upon the room for minutes, as Max tried to make sense of what he was about to say. He still wasn’t sure if his words would come out right but looking at her, he was clear about one thing-he knew now how he felt about her.

“That night...a year ago,” he cleared his throat, “I...I wanted to kiss you.”

“What are you talking about Max?” she inquired, feigning ignorance, unwilling to go there with Max today of all days.   
  
“Helen, I’m not pretending here. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” 

Helen forgot what she was doing and closed her eyes to muster up the courage to look at him. She finally did and all she saw was his body casting a shadow over hers while she was still sitting at her desk. She scanned his face, focused on his tear filled eyes, and she knew instantly that he was actually being serious. This wasn’t the Max she knew for three years now. He seemed more fragile, scared even and a little bit guarded.

She began shaking her head disapprovingly and before she knew it, her feet were taking her swiftly to her door. She couldn’t do this. Not now. Not ever.

Before she could get to exit, he slammed the door shut and she felt him breathing down her neck. She was panting, trying to catch her breath and balance, as she closed her eyes.

He leaned into her ear and whispered, “I want you. I want you Helen Sharpe. Not as a friend or as my doctor. Not as my confidant or deputy medical director. I want _you_.”

She turned around, her stiff and cold body still trapped by his hands on both sides with her back against the door. She could barely look up at him. Her heart was thumping in her chest. Her palms were becoming sweaty and she just wanted an escape. She swallowed hard. Finding her resolve, while looking down at her feet, still too scared to meet his eyes after his admission, she questioned, “Why? Why now? You can’t this to me. It’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is me watching you be with someone that isn’t me. What’s not fair is seeing someone make you smile knowing I could do it better. I have done it better. _That’s_ not fair.”

His words made her angry. His entitlement. The fact that he thought she was the one doing him some disservice by actually being happy.

“Max, you don’t know what you’re saying. You weren’t ready a year ago and you’re not ready now!” She raised her voice as she shoved away his hand and made her escape further inside of her office. She knew he wouldn’t let her leave.

He sighed frustratedly when he realized that he didn’t anticipate this much resistance. He thought she’d cave. He thought she felt the same way and now he was questioning what was happening.

“You told me a year ago that everything you had ever done, you did for me. That has not changed.”

“That was then,” she bit back without hesitating.

“I wasn’t dating someone else then. We lived through a whole pandemic. I met Cassian. What makes you think that I’d be stuck where we left things off? Was I supposed to wait around for you, huh Max? Wait till you took your ring off? Oh, better yet, wait until you dated around and then miraculously realized that I, Helen Sharpe, the woman who has been here _all_ along, is the woman you actually love?”

He furrowed his brows when he heard the venom spewing from her mouth. He didn’t prepare for this. This was not the Helen he knew.

She began pacing up and down her office, which was a clear sign to him that she was flustered.

“What is wrong with you anyway? Barging into my office on this random Tuesday to say this? Don’t you think you’re a year late? We didn’t even talk about it. Do you have any idea how I felt? Do you have any idea how it felt,” she paused as her voice broke.

She continued, “Do you have any idea how it felt when I realized you just weren’t ready? That I was ready and you weren’t?”

He felt it. He finally felt the pain she had been in all this time without ever saying a word. The pain she lived through as she continued to show up for him. He just didn’t expect her to feel like this and still act like things were normal between them. She was fighting to withhold her tears but her emotions were betraying her. Finally, she was showing how wounded she had been all this time. 

“Helen but we both know not being ready wasn’t my fault. I was grieving! You know that!” he shouted. So much for him really understanding her pain. 

She gave him a knowing look that he needed to watch his tone with her.

“I’m sorry. I’m just-” he sighed.

“You’re just what?” she challenged. She wasn’t going to spare him anymore. She was tired of always considering his feelings. 

“In love with me? You just want to be with me? You just want to hold me? You just want to kiss me? You want to have sex with me? Too bad. Someone else is doing it and they’re doing it well.” She scoffed.

“Are you trying to hurt me?” Max asked tearfully, confused by her lack of sympathy for him.

“I was hurting all this time and you never saw. And it’s such a bloody Max Goodwin thing to want me when I’m taken. Because this what you do Max. You only choose when you’re forced to. Well, I’m choosing. I’m choosing to walk away from you. I’m choosing to end this. Right here. Right now.”

Max started inching closer to her as he said, “Helen, don’t do this. Don’t. This is not what you want. This is not what we want.”

He grabbed her hand and held on to it. He saw her stop in her tracks as she was making her way to the door, and he thought that he had won. He finally broke her down.

With tear filled eyes she looked up at him and said, “You’re right. This is not what I want. _You’re_ not what I want. Not anymore.”

She loosed herself from his grasp and took ten courageous steps away from him as she exited her office. There was space between them now. And they didn’t know what direction they were going in. Their relationship was still undefined. They weren’t friends. They certainly weren’t lovers.

Maybe now....just strangers?

He finally knew that she loved him. She finally knew that he loved her.  
  


But the ending was....

....unexpected.


End file.
